CHAIN LETTERS - it is time for my Soap Box. They have started again and I hope I do not offend anyone with my point of view. Last week I received 7 chain style emails and although I do appreciate that others are thinking of me, just for info I do not READ or FORWARD chain style email. I don't like being threatened that the sky will fall on my head if I do not send it on to many others. I believe that the Internet and sending email on will not change the course of our lives. The Good Lord and our Guardian Angels have that in hand. I am aware that some of these are 'moving stories', and without the chain part I do enjoy the ones I accidentally read. If you must send something out to 5 or 10 people, rest assured that the one I receive will go no further. Please do not waste one of your 5 or 10 on me. Yes I do forward cute stories that move me, but not the ones that threaten I MUST send it on. Occasionally??? if I inadvertently read a good one and I can somehow remove the chain part I may forward it, only because it is cute.
On another front, our friends know we care about others, so I also do not usually return the new type of 'friend email' back to the person who sent it to me either - just to reinforce that they are a friend. I do love to hear from everyone and I love cute stories, but please do not include me in the chain style ones. OK I am off my soapbox - life is good again.
29 April, 2007
16 March, 2007
Spanish Word Of The Day
Spanish word of the day: 'comer' [coh-MEHR]
English translation: to eat
Comà como una lima.
I ate like a horse.
English translation: to eat
Comà como una lima.
I ate like a horse.
13 March, 2007
Cat Problems? Check Your Music Dial.
Musical Cats
It appears that feline taste in music is as varied as it is in humans. Some cats show no interest in it, while others seem to dislike it, and still others clearly adore it. One champion of classical music claimed that his kittens preferred early Baroque selections; while a Country Western fan, naturally asserted that Hank Williams Jr. puts his cats in ecstasy. A senior citizen who routinely sets the radio station for easy-listening music before she leaves the house reports that her Siamese cat, Sam, invariably changes it to a hard rock station while she is gone. In the 1930's Drs. Morin and Bachrach discovered to their surprise that the note E of the fourth octave had the effect of making young cats defecate and adult cats become sexually excited. It was also noted that extremely high notes could cause agitation in many cats. Apparently these varied reactions to music are related to the special sound signals that are used in feline language. Some of the high notes, for example, may approximate the pitch of the mews of a distressed kitten and may be disturbing to an adult cat, especially a female. The more erotic responses may be due to the similarity of the musical tones to the sounds elicited during feline courtship ritual. As with all things feline, nature and experience determine the cat's reactions--in this case to music.
It appears that feline taste in music is as varied as it is in humans. Some cats show no interest in it, while others seem to dislike it, and still others clearly adore it. One champion of classical music claimed that his kittens preferred early Baroque selections; while a Country Western fan, naturally asserted that Hank Williams Jr. puts his cats in ecstasy. A senior citizen who routinely sets the radio station for easy-listening music before she leaves the house reports that her Siamese cat, Sam, invariably changes it to a hard rock station while she is gone. In the 1930's Drs. Morin and Bachrach discovered to their surprise that the note E of the fourth octave had the effect of making young cats defecate and adult cats become sexually excited. It was also noted that extremely high notes could cause agitation in many cats. Apparently these varied reactions to music are related to the special sound signals that are used in feline language. Some of the high notes, for example, may approximate the pitch of the mews of a distressed kitten and may be disturbing to an adult cat, especially a female. The more erotic responses may be due to the similarity of the musical tones to the sounds elicited during feline courtship ritual. As with all things feline, nature and experience determine the cat's reactions--in this case to music.
11 March, 2007
Daylight Savings Time
Daylight Savings Time - thanks to Jordon Cooper
Sigh. Tomorrow at 2:00 a.m. I am hit with the sad reminder of how out of sync Saskatchewan is with the rest of the world. Literally. While the rest of the world changes to Daylight Savings Time, Saskatchewan does not. Sure the extra hour of sunlight would be nice all summer but the 5 minutes twice a year to change all of the clocks in our homes is too difficult so we remain out of sync with the rest of the world. Sadly on most of the call in radio shoes, the main argument is that it is too stressful on the cattle to change their feeding time twice a year. In other words Saskatchewan cattle are too stupid to adjust while cattle in Alberta and Manitoba can. The other argument is that there is a slight increase in traffic accidents as people rush to church. I assure you that despite living in the Bible belt, there isn't much congestion on Saskatchewan roads for people rushing to church. I think we would be okay.Either way, politicians are confident that it would lead to their defeat if they came out in favor of Daylight Savings Time. I am not sure which is sadder, that they think that way or that they may be correct.
Sigh. Tomorrow at 2:00 a.m. I am hit with the sad reminder of how out of sync Saskatchewan is with the rest of the world. Literally. While the rest of the world changes to Daylight Savings Time, Saskatchewan does not. Sure the extra hour of sunlight would be nice all summer but the 5 minutes twice a year to change all of the clocks in our homes is too difficult so we remain out of sync with the rest of the world. Sadly on most of the call in radio shoes, the main argument is that it is too stressful on the cattle to change their feeding time twice a year. In other words Saskatchewan cattle are too stupid to adjust while cattle in Alberta and Manitoba can. The other argument is that there is a slight increase in traffic accidents as people rush to church. I assure you that despite living in the Bible belt, there isn't much congestion on Saskatchewan roads for people rushing to church. I think we would be okay.Either way, politicians are confident that it would lead to their defeat if they came out in favor of Daylight Savings Time. I am not sure which is sadder, that they think that way or that they may be correct.
31 January, 2007
11 January, 2007
You Must Be From Saskatchewan!
If "vacation" to you means going shopping for the weekend in Minot, ND while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you're proud that your province makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you know how to correctly pronounce Forget, Bienfait and Roche Percee, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you measure driving distance in hours, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you can drive 110 kph through 2 meters of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around an amateur hockey game, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in Saskatchewan
If your town's Christmas lights parade is actually called the 'Christmas Lights Parade' rather than the 'Holiday Lights Parade', and everyone in the parade actually greets you with 'Merry Christmas!' You might live in Saskatchewan.
If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time, You might live in Saskatchewan
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you find minus 20 degrees a little chilly, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you actually understand these observations, and you forward them to all your Saskatchewan friends, you must be from Saskatchewan.
If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you're proud that your province makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you know how to correctly pronounce Forget, Bienfait and Roche Percee, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you measure driving distance in hours, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you can drive 110 kph through 2 meters of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around an amateur hockey game, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in Saskatchewan
If your town's Christmas lights parade is actually called the 'Christmas Lights Parade' rather than the 'Holiday Lights Parade', and everyone in the parade actually greets you with 'Merry Christmas!' You might live in Saskatchewan.
If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time, You might live in Saskatchewan
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you find minus 20 degrees a little chilly, You might live in Saskatchewan.
If you actually understand these observations, and you forward them to all your Saskatchewan friends, you must be from Saskatchewan.
20 December, 2006
05 December, 2006
Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?
I don't know how many dinner parties you have planned according to the instructions of Jesus, but I haven't had any. Handicapped and homeless people are not part of my circle. I have given this verse a lot of thought lately, with the homeless crisis in Calgary in our news nearly every day. People are freezing to death in the streets.
One of our town Counsellors hosts a meal each year on Christmas day to which she invites anyone of any sex or age who does not have a dinner to go to. She started out in her living room and now rents a hall in town. I think she is living out her faith, don't you?
Mark. 14:12-14 Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbours; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
One of our town Counsellors hosts a meal each year on Christmas day to which she invites anyone of any sex or age who does not have a dinner to go to. She started out in her living room and now rents a hall in town. I think she is living out her faith, don't you?
Mark. 14:12-14 Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbours; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”
30 November, 2006
A Warm Memory
As we broke a 110-year old record for cold weather in Calgary, Alberta, this week, I was reminded of walking into this Raleigh, North Carolina, lake at about 83 degrees F. Yes, the water always looked this dirty, but who cared.I thought this little African American girl was adorable, don't you?
18 November, 2006
HOW TO BATHE A CAT
"Put both lids of the toilet up and add one-eighth cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid.) The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Don't be concerned with the noises that come from the toilet. The cat is actually enjoying this.
"Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a power wash and rinse. Have the front door of your home open. Be sure that there are no people or other pets between the bathroom and the front door. Stand as far behind the toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids. The cat will rocket out of the toilet and streak through the house and out the front door, initiating the self-dry cycle. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean."
It seems the directions were compiled by someone known simply as "Rover." Hmmm......
"Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a power wash and rinse. Have the front door of your home open. Be sure that there are no people or other pets between the bathroom and the front door. Stand as far behind the toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids. The cat will rocket out of the toilet and streak through the house and out the front door, initiating the self-dry cycle. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean."
It seems the directions were compiled by someone known simply as "Rover." Hmmm......
15 November, 2006
MACKENZIE ROCKS!
The Devil's Horns hand gesture is one that has come to signify every thing rock. However, these days it has become less and less so by it's overuse and misuse. In today's music market it appears that no band that claims to even be the tiniest bit 'rock' can be photographed without at least one of them making this symbol.
How It's Done: Put your middle and ring fingers down into your palm whilst keeping the others straight, place your thumb on top, then either hold aloft, point at someone, or hold across the chest.
Do not place your thumb underneath or hold out to the side; also never hold the thumb out. Always keep it on the middle two fingers, or it will become the sign language for I love you. Unless you're a hippie or in love with a deaf person, it's not really appropriate is it?
Do not place your thumb underneath or hold out to the side; also never hold the thumb out. Always keep it on the middle two fingers, or it will become the sign language for I love you. Unless you're a hippie or in love with a deaf person, it's not really appropriate is it?
11 November, 2006
Why I'll Always Be On This Side Of The Starbucks Counter
"I'll have a large, one-percent double shot half caff, sugar-free vanilla latte, steamed to 163.8 degrees, light foam, easy whip, with a smidge of Callebaut shavings, a whisper of cinnamon, stirred counterclockwise, served with the handle facing west, with no direct eye contact, in a warmed mug - not piping hot, but not lukewarm either ... "
08 November, 2006
07 November, 2006
GAINER GOPHERGATE
Gainer GopherGate has come and gone. Gainer was barred from the Calgary Stampeders’ home field for the playoff game last Sunday against the 'Riders. Alberta may be the rat free province, but apparently they ban gophers, too. Saskatchewan was not pleased with the news that their most famous costumed celebrity had been spurned. But the boys in Green got it done for the gopher. I love the 'Rider fans, they do the CFL proud.
How To Tell If Someone Is From Saskatchewan:
10. Once every third decade or so, they perform strange, ritualistic dances in public places wearing watermelons on their heads to celebrate their latest Grey Cup victory.
9. They pronounce Saskatchewan "Skatchw'n."
8. You overhear someone explain how he installed a counter binder on his combine's pulley-driven wheat flattener with a square head hydrostatic coupler, using a universal bushing degreaser, and you can't believe he left only five inches of clearance between the kernel rotor and the straw-feed regulator -- the idiot!
7. They know the difference between a farmer and a rancher.
6. They rent off-season storage space for the snowmobile on a week-by-week basis.
5. They know when Christmas is near because stores stay open late TWO nights a week rather than one.
4. They can't understand why American television networks never settle on a schedule, instead of shifting all their programs back and forth for an hour every spring and fall.
3. They actually understand, and perhaps can describe in detail, the necessity for geographical correction lines.
2. They're confused when cars come equipped with options that would never be needed, such as curb feelers and turn signals; yet obvious options such as trailer hitches and air conditioning are extras.
1. When you ask them what they think of Calgary, they say, "It's nice, but the mountains block out the sunset!"
02 November, 2006
COP HUMOR
I have advised my 'stealth readers ' that they should not expect anything profound until after Christmas. Fortunately, there is no end of humor on the blogosphere to pass along.
This is a little long, but humorous if you can hang in.
NARCOTIC UNITS
Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.
Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.
Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.
Make every case involve overtime $$$.
Buy bunches of boats, RV’s, and motorcycles with that overtime.
Learn to play golf drunk.
SWAT UNITS
Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT head nod.
Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness.
Learn to play golf wearing a gun.
COMMUNITY SERVICE UNITS
Hate SWAT.
Work to make everybody love you.
Paint your office in pastel colors. Think Feng Shui.
Subscribe to Psychology Today.
Learn to play miniature golf.
TRAFFIC UNITS
Write tickets to EVERYBODY.
Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots.
Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your stops. Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day.
Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection.
Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.
ADMINISTRATIVE UNITS
Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it’s a “meeting”.
Upgrade department cell phone every month.
Tell everybody you are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
Golf Rules! Play lots of golf.
PATROL UNITS
Has nerves of steel.
In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
Inability to keep mouth shut.
Has defining tastes in alcohol. Is respected by peers.
Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot.
INVESTIGATORS
Come in at 0800.
“Breakfast” from 0815 to 1030.
Work from 1030 to Noon.
Noon to 1400 work out and Lunch 1400-1700.
Sit in CID and talk about how many girlfriends you have and how the wife doesn’t know.
Plan your next RV, fishing, motorcycle trip.
PATROL SERGEANT
Remembers very well “how we used to do it.”
Always willing to tell his officers the above.
Tries to fit the word “liability” in to every sentence.
Talks about “what he’s hearing from upstairs.”
TRAINEE
Unable to grow facial hair.
Watches every episode of Cops.
Worships the ground the SWAT guys walk on.
Arrives for work three hours early. Thinks the Sergeant is thrilled to see him.
Won’t drink on the golf course because it violates the open container ordinance.
FEDS
Shave head, and grow goatee (unless you want to be a management weenie, then make sure you are clean shaven, with short almost military style haircut).
Wear 5.11 pants, and polo with agency logo (unless you want to be a management weenie, then make sure you always have a shirt and pants to which a jacket and tie can be quickly added for when the boss might be around).
Arrive at work at 8 AM, spend one hour answering useless emails, and 30 minutes checking your retirement investments.
Then go with another agent to Starbucks “to discuss your new case.”
After participating in your first warrant service (as outside cover) make plans to join the agency SRT, SWAT, etc, to “properly utilize your superior tactical skills.”
After doing your first buy bust, immediately begin asking the boss about “long term undercover” jobs.
Refuse to play golf with “the locals.”
NEW CORRECTIONS OFFICERS
Show up for work 15 minutes early.
Buy only the best ink pens (Pilot G-2).
Wear T-Shirts of your “dream department” under your uniform.
Wear a full duty belt of gear even though you have to remove: gun, baton, spare magazines, knife, cell phone, and BUG when you arrive at the facility.
Become friends with every local police officer.
Continue eating too much and not exercising.
To all who serve and protect: THANK YOU!
This is a little long, but humorous if you can hang in.
NARCOTIC UNITS
Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.
Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.
Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.
Make every case involve overtime $$$.
Buy bunches of boats, RV’s, and motorcycles with that overtime.
Learn to play golf drunk.
SWAT UNITS
Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT head nod.
Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness.
Learn to play golf wearing a gun.
COMMUNITY SERVICE UNITS
Hate SWAT.
Work to make everybody love you.
Paint your office in pastel colors. Think Feng Shui.
Subscribe to Psychology Today.
Learn to play miniature golf.
TRAFFIC UNITS
Write tickets to EVERYBODY.
Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots.
Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your stops. Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day.
Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection.
Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.
ADMINISTRATIVE UNITS
Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it’s a “meeting”.
Upgrade department cell phone every month.
Tell everybody you are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
Golf Rules! Play lots of golf.
PATROL UNITS
Has nerves of steel.
In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
Inability to keep mouth shut.
Has defining tastes in alcohol. Is respected by peers.
Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot.
INVESTIGATORS
Come in at 0800.
“Breakfast” from 0815 to 1030.
Work from 1030 to Noon.
Noon to 1400 work out and Lunch 1400-1700.
Sit in CID and talk about how many girlfriends you have and how the wife doesn’t know.
Plan your next RV, fishing, motorcycle trip.
PATROL SERGEANT
Remembers very well “how we used to do it.”
Always willing to tell his officers the above.
Tries to fit the word “liability” in to every sentence.
Talks about “what he’s hearing from upstairs.”
TRAINEE
Unable to grow facial hair.
Watches every episode of Cops.
Worships the ground the SWAT guys walk on.
Arrives for work three hours early. Thinks the Sergeant is thrilled to see him.
Won’t drink on the golf course because it violates the open container ordinance.
FEDS
Shave head, and grow goatee (unless you want to be a management weenie, then make sure you are clean shaven, with short almost military style haircut).
Wear 5.11 pants, and polo with agency logo (unless you want to be a management weenie, then make sure you always have a shirt and pants to which a jacket and tie can be quickly added for when the boss might be around).
Arrive at work at 8 AM, spend one hour answering useless emails, and 30 minutes checking your retirement investments.
Then go with another agent to Starbucks “to discuss your new case.”
After participating in your first warrant service (as outside cover) make plans to join the agency SRT, SWAT, etc, to “properly utilize your superior tactical skills.”
After doing your first buy bust, immediately begin asking the boss about “long term undercover” jobs.
Refuse to play golf with “the locals.”
NEW CORRECTIONS OFFICERS
Show up for work 15 minutes early.
Buy only the best ink pens (Pilot G-2).
Wear T-Shirts of your “dream department” under your uniform.
Wear a full duty belt of gear even though you have to remove: gun, baton, spare magazines, knife, cell phone, and BUG when you arrive at the facility.
Become friends with every local police officer.
Continue eating too much and not exercising.
To all who serve and protect: THANK YOU!
01 November, 2006
SPANISH WORD OF THE WEEK
secretaria - secretary
Fue secretaria del Alcalde.
She was the Mayor's secretary.
Fue secretaria del Alcalde.
She was the Mayor's secretary.
18 October, 2006
COFFEE WISDOM
Principle 1 - Reheating Causes Bitterness
About Coffee: Coffee should not be reheated. Every time you brew a cup, it needs to be fresh. Make only as much as you plan to drink.
About Life: Don't rehash the past. Your past is the reason, not the excuse. Let go of what is gone.
Principle 2 - Start with Fresh Grounds
About Coffee: Do not reuse grounds. You'll only end up with bitter and unpleasant tastes.
About Life: Learn from your mistakes, don't repeat them.
Principle 3 - Use the Correct Grind
About Coffee: Use the correct grind for your coffee maker. If you grind too fine, this will cause bitterness. If your grind is too coarse, the coffee will be watery.
About Life: Put right what you can, and accept what you cannot.
Principle 4 - Use High-Quality Beans and Fresh, Pure, Cold Water
About Coffee: Use fresh cold water. Water is around 98 percent of every cup; to ensure you get the finest taste, consider using a water filter or bottled water. Choose top-quality beans. For your cup of coffee to be top quality you need to make sure you get the main ingredient right. About Life: Celebrate your uniqueness.
Principle 5 - Get the Proportions Right
About Coffee: The proportion of coffee to water is vital. Experts recommend using tablespoons (10 grams) of ground coffee for each 6 fluid ounces (180 ml) of water. Regardless of how much coffee you make, you need to keep these proportions consistent. Proportions can be adjusted according to taste, but using less coffee makes for a thin, bitter-tasting brew.
About Life: Challenge irrational thinking.
Principle 6 - Boiling Destroys the Flavor
About Coffee: Boiling causes bitterness, so never boil coffee. It should be brewed between 195°F and 205°F (90°C-96°C).
About Life: Check your stress levels. Balance your body, mind, and spirit.
Principle 7 - Drink It While It's Hot
About Coffee: Drink your coffee soon after it is made. Coffee can be kept warm for only about fifteen minutes over a burner before the flavor becomes unpleasant.
About Life: Live in the present with an attitude of positive expectancy.
About the Book
Coffee Wisdom: 7 Finely-Ground Principles to Living a Full-Bodied Life By Theresa Cheung
About Coffee: Coffee should not be reheated. Every time you brew a cup, it needs to be fresh. Make only as much as you plan to drink.
About Life: Don't rehash the past. Your past is the reason, not the excuse. Let go of what is gone.
Principle 2 - Start with Fresh Grounds
About Coffee: Do not reuse grounds. You'll only end up with bitter and unpleasant tastes.
About Life: Learn from your mistakes, don't repeat them.
Principle 3 - Use the Correct Grind
About Coffee: Use the correct grind for your coffee maker. If you grind too fine, this will cause bitterness. If your grind is too coarse, the coffee will be watery.
About Life: Put right what you can, and accept what you cannot.
Principle 4 - Use High-Quality Beans and Fresh, Pure, Cold Water
About Coffee: Use fresh cold water. Water is around 98 percent of every cup; to ensure you get the finest taste, consider using a water filter or bottled water. Choose top-quality beans. For your cup of coffee to be top quality you need to make sure you get the main ingredient right. About Life: Celebrate your uniqueness.
Principle 5 - Get the Proportions Right
About Coffee: The proportion of coffee to water is vital. Experts recommend using tablespoons (10 grams) of ground coffee for each 6 fluid ounces (180 ml) of water. Regardless of how much coffee you make, you need to keep these proportions consistent. Proportions can be adjusted according to taste, but using less coffee makes for a thin, bitter-tasting brew.
About Life: Challenge irrational thinking.
Principle 6 - Boiling Destroys the Flavor
About Coffee: Boiling causes bitterness, so never boil coffee. It should be brewed between 195°F and 205°F (90°C-96°C).
About Life: Check your stress levels. Balance your body, mind, and spirit.
Principle 7 - Drink It While It's Hot
About Coffee: Drink your coffee soon after it is made. Coffee can be kept warm for only about fifteen minutes over a burner before the flavor becomes unpleasant.
About Life: Live in the present with an attitude of positive expectancy.
About the Book
Coffee Wisdom: 7 Finely-Ground Principles to Living a Full-Bodied Life By Theresa Cheung
WRAPPING PRESENTS WITH A CAT
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door.
3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore paper.
15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came out of.
16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.
17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.
18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape.
19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.
21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon.
22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.
24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.
25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.
26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.
29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.
30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and re-lock.
31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best!)
32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.
33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job.
34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion.
36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.
38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.
39. Swear to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the darn thing for you.
2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door.
3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.
7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight.
14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore paper.
15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came out of.
16. Place present on cut-to-size paper.
17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don't reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry.
18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape.
19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.
20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.
21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon.
22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat's enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end.
24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper.
25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper.
26. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
27. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room.
29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials.
30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and re-lock.
31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best!)
32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas.
33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job.
34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion.
36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked.
38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver's face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present.
39. Swear to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the darn thing for you.
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