HOW TO BATHE A CAT

"Put both lids of the toilet up and add one-eighth cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him toward the bathroom. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid.) The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Don't be concerned with the noises that come from the toilet. The cat is actually enjoying this.

"Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a power wash and rinse. Have the front door of your home open. Be sure that there are no people or other pets between the bathroom and the front door. Stand as far behind the toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids. The cat will rocket out of the toilet and streak through the house and out the front door, initiating the self-dry cycle. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean."

It seems the directions were compiled by someone known simply as "Rover." Hmmm......